


Unimpressive Tactics

by stephanericher



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Western, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-18
Updated: 2016-05-18
Packaged: 2018-06-09 06:55:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6894589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stephanericher/pseuds/stephanericher
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Did Seto give Furuhashi those hickeys? It’s too gross to even think about them doing anything like that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unimpressive Tactics

**Author's Note:**

> VERY belated fill for twitter user @furufish (kenkou + western + murder mystery)

The body is found by the watering hole by some local good Samaritans; this early in the morning Yamazaki’s the only deputy on duty. The people who found it have no idea who it is, whether it’s someone from their town or the next or somewhere else entirely, but it’s clear that an investigation has to take place immediately and Yamazaki has to tell the sheriff before he does anything. With that in mind, he sets out on foot to Seto’s house, kicking up the dust with his boots the whole way.

He’s one house away when he sees something that makes him momentarily forget all about the murder and the body and his job. Furuhashi Koujirou, his co-deputy, is shutting the door to Seto’s house behind him. In the pre-dawn light, he can see Furuhashi’s cheeks are slightly flushed and his shirt is buttoned all wrong. He’s carrying his vest and chaps in his arms, definitely not there on official business—and when Yamazaki gets closer he sees the giant hickey on Furuhashi’s neck. Closer still, and he sees another one, and he can’t look away. Did Seto give Furuhashi those hickeys? It’s too gross to even think about them doing anything like that. No way. (And yet Yamazaki can’t stop himself from imagining Furuhashi’s hands under Seto’s shirt and no, no, no, ew.)

“Hello, Yamazaki,” says Furuhashi, as if there’s nothing out of the fucking ordinary about greeting Yamazaki when he’s starting out his walk of shame.

And then it all comes rushing back—the body, the murder, the identity.

“I need to see Seto. They found a body by the watering hole—don’t know who it is—”

“He’s asleep. We shouldn’t disturb him.”

Yamazaki rolls his eyes. “Seto’s always asleep. He needs to know.”

“We can leave a note on his desk and take care of the questioning.”

Furuhashi tugs on Yamazaki’s arm. And, well, Yamazaki would rather not go in and see Furuhashi and Seto being all gross together and give each other more hickeys right now (he’d just had breakfast, thanks very much), so he gives in.

* * *

Furuhashi’s first strategy is to knock on doors and ask around, starting with (of all people) the ill-tempered owner of the general store. He practically slams the door open, glaring at both deputies.

“Did you do it?” Furuhashi says.

“Do what? What the fuck? I’ll run you down with my horse—”

Yamazaki slams the door before Miyaji can finish his threat or finally make good on it. They’ve got too much to worry about without that on top of all of it.

“What the hell, Furuhashi?” says Yamazaki. “That’s not how you find evidence or identify a body.”

“If they did it they probably know who they killed,” says Furuhashi.

“That’s not—you didn’t even clarify—no one’s going to confess if you straight-up ask them like that!”

“Why not?” says Furuhashi.

Yamazaki sighs. “Do we want to take Miyaji in for further questioning?”

“No; he didn’t do it,” says Furuhashi. “Let’s go to the saloon.”

“What, and interrogate everyone there?”

“I’m not interrogating; I’m just asking questions,” says Furuhashi, as if he’s fucking explaining this to a small child.

Yamazaki huffs. “Let me handle it.”

“No.”

* * *

The rest of the morning is just as successful (that is, not at all) thanks to Furuhashi’s horrible tactics and blunt questions. They stop for lunch in the saloon, receiving glares from everyone (which Furuhashi seems oddly impervious to). They reconvene with Sheriff Seto at the jail that afternoon. Seto’s predictably asleep at his desk when they come in, ten-gallon hat over his face (but not muffling his snores and unintelligible sleep-babble). Yamazaki rolls his eyes.

“Yo, boss!”

Seto jolts forward; the hat falls off his face and he scowls. He picks it up from the desk, leans back, and places it right back over his face.

“I’m listening.” (Is he?)

“Hara totally did it,” says Furuhashi.

“What?” says Yamazaki.

They haven’t met with the jail warden all day, or even seen him—Yamazaki’s not even sure he’s on duty (although since they didn’t run into him in the saloon he most likely is).

“Hara did it,” Furuhashi repeats.

“We haven’t questioned him! You have no evidence—none whatsoever—that’s almost as absurd as accusing yourself!”

“No,” says Furuhashi. “A deputy sheriff would never do anything immoral.”

Yamazaki closes his eyes. “Fine. The fucking mayor, then.”

“Stop it, Yamazaki,” says Seto. “I’m trying to sleep.”

“He’s the one making the wild accusations,” says Yamazaki. “Are you just not saying anything because he’s your boyfriend?”

“We’re not dating,” says Furuhashi.

Yamazaki snorts. “Then why did I see you doing the walk of shame back from Seto’s place this morning?”

“It’s not really a walk of shame if it’s Koujirou,” says Seto (and he still hasn’t taken the ten-gallon hat off his face).

Yamazaki would really like to hit one (or both) of them right now, but Seto would have his head if he hit Furuhashi and he’s pretty sure assaulting your superiors is a crime (although with a witness as unreliable as Furuhashi he might be able to get away with hitting Seto anyway).

Furuhashi hasn’t said anything in response but—is that his face reddening ever so slightly? So much for no shame. Although it’s pretty disgusting that of all people Seto is the one getting Furuhashi to blush. Yamazaki tugs at his vest.

“Go feed the horses, Yamazaki,” says Seto.

He reaches for Furuhashi’s hand blindly, and Furuhashi takes it and—ew. Under normal circumstances Yamazaki would balk at being told to do a stable boy’s job but now he’s just glad to get out of there and away from the disgusting couple. He hears the chair settle behind him as he exits the room, trying to stomp his boots a little bit louder to drown out the image of Furuhashi sitting on Seto’s lap. It’s not working, and they still have a body to identify, but Yamazaki decides to take the rest of the day off. He deserves it.


End file.
